The Power of Prayer In Your Marriage

 

I wanted to take a few minutes today and speak about the important of prayer in our marriage.  We’ve just finished up the prayer study, and I feel that this is something that God has laid on my heart, and wanted me to share with everyone.  The importance of praying for your spouse.

 I think it was around the middle of our Sunday School study that I picked up a book that my wife had gotten for me for Christmas about a year ago that I had never picked up since;  The Power of a Praying Husband by Stormie Omartian.  It seems like the devil has kicked things up a notch and has made attacking our marriages one of his top priorities.  Which makes sense, because if he can divide the husband and the wife, then that will cause division between the parents and the children, and it just seems like today all you hear about marriages and families falling apart both within the church and outside the church.  This is an area that we really need to keep guarded in our lives.  We can’t open the door for the devil to put his foothold in, because once he gets his foot in the door, he will try all kinds of ways to get in.  So as the week progressed God started showing me different ways that we are allowing the Devil to get his foot in, and what we need to do to guard that area of our life.  

One of the biggest ways is through the media.  ”In the world” the media is telling us basically what we should be doing to manage our lives.  Everything from what to wear, how to eat, and how to live.  For so many people listening to what the media has to say about life and the things in it, has become a substitute for reading and staying in God’s word.  In today’s time the media is constantly glamorizing and even promoting affairs. AshleyMadison.com is one website that comes to mind.  They have started advertising on TV, Radio, and billboards across the US.   If you are unfamiliar, let me introduce you to them.  In one commercial, a man and woman are seen in bed together.  They are half naked and they are having a joyous romp in the sheets.  You see the woman with a sinful smirk towards the camera with racy music playing in the background.  All of a sudden, headlines appear, and they say, this couple is married, but not to each other.  Ashley Madison is a dating service that helps married people and others in committed relationships to find romance outside of their existing marriage.  The Ashley Madison slogan “Life is Short, Have an Affair”  That’s just one of the many websites out there that promote cheating on your spouse.  And if it’s not a racy website promoting it, it’s a “respectable” news source like CNN.  This was an actual article posted on CNN about a month ago called Work Spouse, and I’m not sure if you saw this or not, but here is what the article said.

A work spouse is a co-worker of the opposite sex with whom you have a close platonic relationship. In many ways, these relationships can mirror a real marriage.

According to a 2007 survey from Vault.com, a career information Web site, 23 percent of workers reported that they had a work spouse.

Do you have a work spouse?

Here are seven clear signs you might have a work spouse:

1. You depend on a particular co-worker for office supplies, snacks and aspirin.

2. There are inside jokes that you and a specific co-worker share.

3. You can be bluntly honest with this person about his or her appearance, hygiene or hair (and vice versa). You’re comfortable enough to point out that the other’s hair is sticking up — or that someone’s fly is down. 

4. When something eventful happens at work, this co-worker is the first person you seek out for a de-briefing.

5. At breakfast, lunch and coffee breaks, your closest co-worker knows what to order for you and how you like your coffee (and vice versa).

6. You and your co-worker can finish each other’s sentences.

7. Someone in your office knows almost as much about your personal life as your best friend or real-life spouse does.

Pluses and minuses of a work-spouse relationship

There are great benefits to having a close relationship with a co-worker. Among the benefits of a work spouse:

• You have a friend who provides emotional support at work during challenging times. During times of stress at home or at work, you have a built-in support system.

• Work spouses often complement each other in terms of skills, abilities and their approaches to work. The two of you can make a very productive team.

• Having a trustworthy co-conspirator for those occasional workplace escapades (and juicy gossip) can be beneficial, and often acts as a way to release work-related stress.

The possible pitfalls of a work spouse may include:

• The relationship between you and your “spouse” might be misinterpreted by other co-workers as a clique. If others feel excluded, it may be a catalyst for personal or professional disagreements.

• If the relationship goes sour, it can have a negative impact on you, your “ex” and your team as a whole.

• If your real spouse becomes aware of their counterpart, it can create issues in your real-life marriage.

Managing the work spouse relationship

Here are some tips on how best to keep everyone, including your work spouse, happy on the job:

Keep the lines of communication open. Make sure that other co-workers are not feeling shut out by the perception that you and your work spouse are an exclusive clique of two. If you are working on a project together that also involves the team, be sure to reach out to everyone for feedback and suggestions.

Avoid crossing boundaries. It’s great to have a support system and a close confidante, but be sure to set boundaries for how much to share with your office mate. More importantly, honor those boundaries. If the relationship becomes antagonistic or is too close for comfort, let your work spouse know you need a little space.

Lighten the mood. If your life at home and at work is filled with complications, bringing a co-worker into the middle of those issues may not be beneficial for you. You should aim to keep the mood light and happy with your work spouse. You’ll look forward to enjoying gossip, taking breaks and being able to relax with a friend without any concerns or complications

 First, if you find yourself with some of these signs, I encourage you to run as far away from that situation as you can.  1 Thessalonians 5:22 says Abstain from all appearance of evil.  Not just evil by itself, but the VERY appearance of evil.

The entire tone of this article seems to encourage having a work spouse.  It lists pluses and minuses of having this kind of relationship with someone at work.  Remember this is the kind of garbage the world is trying to tell us is ok.  The following was actually listed in this article:  If your real spouse becomes aware of their counterpart, it can create issues in your real-life marriage.

This is very disturbing, because it seems to condone keeping secrets from your spouse, and having someone at work that you can share your life with, gossip with, and spend quality time with, taking time away from things should only be shared with your ‘real’ spouse.  “23 percent of workers reported that they had a work spouse.”  There are so many marriages in trouble, and marriage is hard enough sometimes without adding a ‘work spouse’ into the mix.  Imagine all of the marital issues that you’ve either experienced first hand or heard about from friends and family, and then note that 23 %  have a work-spouse that they share likenesses to your own marriage.   

We need to stand firm against such things, both as Christians and husbands and wives.  We’ve got to be praying for each other.  We are at war with the devil, but the Lord gives us everything we need to fight and win this war.  By using Scripture and Prayer.  When the HOLY SPIRIT inspired Paul to describe our heavenly armor, he listed only one common weapon–the Sword, identified as the Word of GOD. We need to learn how to use that weapon to protect our marriages from Satan.  We need to learn how to pray for our spouses continually to help protect them not after they have been wounded, before they ever go into battle.

Have you ever been so mad at your spouse that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for them? So have I. It’s hard to pray for someone when you’re angry or hurt.  But that’s exactly what God wants us to do. If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with who we are now  one with,  and are supposed to love? But how do we get past the unforgiveness and the attitude?

The first thing to do is be completely honest with God. In order to break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop communication, we have to be totally up front and honest with God about our feelings. We need to be specific with him about our feelings. He already knows the truth. He just wants to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His ways. 

If you’re angry at your spouse, tell God. Don’t let it become something that eats at you every single day.  Don’t say, “I’m going to live my life and let them live theirs.” If you are there right now, the Devil has you right where he wants you.

I can’t imagine where our lives would be, if we weren’t praying for each other daily.  This was really something that has hit home for me since we started this prayer study.  I’ve prayed for my wife, but did I do it consistently, daily, and unselfishly?  No, I’m ashamed to say I hadn’t been.  Praying for someone else’s needs are a lot harder than praying for your own.  How easy is it to come up with a list of your needs and wants, compared to coming up with a list of someone elses?  It’s been said many times during this study we just finished that praying for our needs and wants is the most common prayer and usually where people spend the most of their time.  Whenever I started the Power of a Praying Husband study I came to my wife and asked her specifically what she wanted me to pray for her about.  This wasn’t so that I could toot my own horn and let her know that I was praying for her, but to find out what she was really needing.  I told her just once that I was going to start praying for her daily, and although I have never mentioned it to her since, I have still been praying for her daily.  If you are praying for someone just for recognition that you are doing it, then your heart isn’t in the right place to begin with.  It has to be self-less and it has to be genuine.  

If you find yourself praying things like ‘God, please show them that I’m right and they are wrong’ or ‘God please change this person’  or if your prayer is trying to manipulate a situation for your benefit then I encourage you to stop praying that and listen to this prayer.  This prayer is something that was in my  Power of a Praying Husband study, and no matter what the struggle you have in your marriage is, this prayer can apply to that struggle.

“Lord, nothing in me wants to pray for my spouse. I confess my anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart toward them. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You. Give me a new, positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward them. Where they are wrong, reveal it to them and convict their heart about it. Lead them through the paths of repentance and deliverance. Help me not to hold myself apart from them emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness. Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so.

If there is something I’m not seeing that’s adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that change to happen. As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward them because I feel it’s justified, I want to do what You want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for them and words to heal this situation.”